Welcome to A Sexual Human.
My name is Drew Barnes. I am a male sex blogger, photographer, and hopeful toy reviewer. I started A Sexual Human as a way to process my thoughts about my sexuality. I have gone from a hormone raging heterosexual teenager, through a long term hetero- relationship with my girlfriend (now wife). A period of exploration of my life wondering whether I was trans, a marriage where sex drive slowly waned with the birth of children. And lately a period of polyamory with some bi-curious play & thoughts, and I am currently in a demisexual period where I am unsure who I really am.
A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a emotional connection. It’s more commonly seen in, but by no means confined, to romantic relationships.
If you are offended by sexual content, male nudity, frank and open discussions around sexuality, sex, kink & relationships, A Sexual Human is not the place for you. You may want to visit Google for something that is more appropriate for your tastes. Likewise, if you are under the legal age in your jurisdiction (18 in most places, 21 in others) then I recommend visiting Scarleteen for advice and information.
My journey to today …
My wife and I met back in 2004 and embarked on a relationship that was taboo for the first two years we were dating. My wife’s father was not a fan of me and our relationship (due to my race).
With our taboo relationship, sex was freely flowing as time allowed. It was an exciting and sexually frivolous time in my life. A number of years later we settled down and got married. Sex drives changed and the balance of sex frequency changed. Our sexuality changed and we looked for things to spice up our lives.
We looked outside our marriage to swinging to spice things up, it has led to some interesting experiences that challenged our thoughts on the topic and community. This led us to polyamory with a lovely couple we regularly see. I can say that there are two women in my life that I truly love.
However as life has continued, the lack of ongoing sex drive has led me to reassess my sexuality. There was a period I felt truly asexual and sex-repulsed, and occasionally still do.
And today …
Today, I feel that I am demisexual and bisexual all at once, hence my name, DemiBiSexual. Is that a real term, I don’t know, but it is how I feel about my sexuality right now.