We fall, sometimes hard, for the people we play with. Why?
We’re exploring novel experiences.
Anytime we challenge ourselves to grow, take on a new adventure, do something exciting, it throws bonding chemicals into our body. Anything scary, thrilling, novel, adventurous connects us with those who we share those experiences.
Someone pays attention to our needs, requests, negotiations, safewords.
I’ve seen so many feel like their voice doesn’t matter. Scenes and play might be one of the rare times we feel heard.
We’re show more of our vulnerabilities.
Sometimes it comes out as tears, catharsis of the pent up emotions inside. Sometimes it’s the conversation before, during, or after where we reveal parts of ourselves that we’ve never told anyone. Sometimes it’s simply sharing the struggles we have, the traumas, how we feel that day, the medical issues we live with, telling those things to someone that’s paying attention.
Aftercare is so comforting compared to the harshness of the world.
A gentle hand, a caring touch, or even just concern for wellbeing can be so foreign on a day to day basis that aftercare is a breath of fresh air.
We push ourselves to incredible extremes within our journey.
This journey can lead us to some deeply disturbing places for some. But in those spaces comes an understanding. That no matter how degraded, dumb, humiliated, (insert term here), that the person we’re playing with still accepts, cares, or loves you in spite of those spaces.
This is why vetting is so important. Be sure the person you’re connecting with is someone you’d want to connect to even if the highs weren’t there.